Space, Turtles, Tacos, and Him
by AlexAndYunai
Summary: Laurens has ASD, and is in a mental ward for unhealthy stimming patterns. He meets some people he actually gets along with, but can he trust it?
1. chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Trigger warning: self harm, ASD, and hella gayness

"We're all just specks of dust floating in bottomless pit called space..." John often pondered this subject, seeming to be forever stuck in a neverending cycle of existentialism. "We are so scared of the inevitable fate of death and the hiccup of the human memory. Even if you did something amazing you will be forgotten." "Honey, shhh, its too early." His mother hushed him. It wax never too early to have these thoughts. He smiled, and tried to ignore the demon weighing on him, his fears feeding it.

The door creaked open and a familiar man peered through. "John Laurens, it has been so long!" The top heavy man bellowed, John flinched at his volume.

"H-Hi Dr. W..." he avoided eye contact with the man who hand taught him and seen with him through so much. The one he could hold eye contact with. Currently.

"Wrists." The doctor commaned. Johns mother looked away. John hesitated before rolling up his sleeves and showing the doctor his wrists with so many red ribbons wrapped around them.

"Oh, John..." Dr. W sighed, taking the skinny boys wrist to further examine. "You promiseed me youd stop."

"For the week..." John muttered. "You said for the week". The doctor sighed, turning to the young mans mother. "He going to have to stay for a while. I mean, more then 3 months." His mother was shocked but looked over to her son and nodded in agreement. Dr. W took the young man by the arm to direct him out the roomJohn looked back at the room. Three Creaky black chairs sat, two facing one of them. He waved goodbye to his mother. She warmly smiled and waved her son farewell before breaking down in tears and curling up into a ball in those uncomfortable chairs

Her baby was hurting himself. Not in the name of self hatred, but stiming. Or maybe pure masochism.

"Theres a boy we have." Dr. W said to John as they walked down a long hallway on their way to another assessment.

"Mm." Laurens responded. 'Woah you guys have a boy? Wow could have never guessed. " He thought.

"You'll like him, he's from the Caribbean."

"Mm."

"He's here for severe PTSD. And he's on orphan. So he's got no one but his cousin. His cousins in here too for suicidal tendencies." Dr. W tried to connect with this boy. He knew this boy had ASD, therefore he was in his own bubble of a distorted world.

They finally got to the assessment room. A black lady wearing a black blouse and pencil skirt was waiting with a clipboard full of forums to fill. Dr. W left the boy nervously with this new women Laurens didn't know.

"Hi John, my name is Faith." The lady held out her hand and John blankly statred at her. She cleared her throat and went on to the paper work .

"So you're here for self harm?" She asked, reading the reports.

"I suppose."

"You suppose? '

"Its stiming but whatever."

"I see." She asked John all these questions and he answered as if he was living the good life. He just isolated himself

"Well... we will work on healthy stiming habits, okay?" John nodded and left. A bag of toiletries, clothes, and drawing supplies awaited him on the floor. He picked the bag up and walked into the door next to the assessment room with it in hand. A small bathroom. He changed into purple sweatpants and a black tee shirt with a turtle on it. The dress code was all black clothws, but John was the exemption. A small turtle stuffed animal was at the bottom of the clear bag.

"Shelly!" He softly squealed and hugged the toy. He scooped the bag up and went to the living area. Two boys say at the large coffee table between the TV and couch. The one, that looked about 17 shot his head up at Laurens. The other looked to be around 15. They were both slightly tan, but not as tan Laurens, with black hair. Nothing remarkable, but the younger one seemed... radiant.

"Hey... new kid. We're the Hamiltons." The olderone said and gestured to the younger boy "He's Alexander. Just call me Hamilton." Alexander waved, not lifting head up from his paper.

I sat down, getting my sketch book and a pencil out. I began drawing the basic geometry of a turtle when Hamilton got up. "I am going to eat something, Alex." He lipped 'be nice' and left.

A few moments passed the sound of pencil scratches filled the quiet, blue room

"New kid-" Alexander spoke, only to be interrupted by John "I'm not new and names Laurens."

"Okay, Laurens. Whatcha drawing?"

"A turtle"

"Cool."

'What are you writing? "

"A poem... wanna hear a joke? " Laurens hesitated before saying yes, jokes were always hard.

"What to you call so famous turtle? A shellebrity." John laughed wildly with no comment from Alex. Most people stop stareand say it wasn't that funny... but Alec just smiled and chuckled.

Maybe Dr. W was right... John did like this kid... so far...


	2. Chapter 2

After calming down from laughing so much, John softly spoke "Alex?"

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you judge me?" John was like a fawn, slowly and cautiously approaching God knows what.

"Because, " Alex sighed, and stopped writing, "I have no right to judge anyone. I'm a bastard, immigrant, whore's son. I'm in a mental hospital for the love of God! And you? What's up with you? You seem weird, but a good kind. The kind I want to be around! Not like the other kids here I can't-I'm rambling, sorry." Alex went back to his notebook, clearly frustrated with himself.

"No, no, continue..." John said, both genuinely interested, and infatuated with Alex's voice. It was smooth, yet bitter like black coffee.

Alex looked up, pretty shocked that someone cared about what he had to say. "Oh, Uhm... I can't stand the kids here... They are either 'edgy roar XD' or 'life is horrible and how dare you say otherwise'. But then there's the Schuyler's."

"The Schuyler's? You mean those three girls? The two tan and the pale one?" John knew them, only cause they were admitted right before he was discharged last month. They looked like the type that's here for suicidal thoughts and will be discharged within a week. Well, he was wrong.

"Yeah, Angelica, Eliza, and Margarita-Or Peggy. They all were here cause Peggy came out as gay, and their was worried the other two would be influenced. So, naturally, they were sent here. Then other things came up..."

"What kinda things?"

"Well, let's see... Ang is a sex addict. She even looks like a siren! And Peggy has depression, not too bad, it's getting worse. And Eliza has anorexia, depression, and PTSD from bullying due to her being bi." Alex said it so casually-like this was just a normal occurrence. Then again, he was around these girls all the time.

"Yeah, I was bullied too, for being gay and autistic." Alex perked up and John's statement.

"You're gay...?" Alex asked gently.

"Yeah... Is that a problem?" John growled. He wouldn't hurt a fly, but he did not look the part.

"N-no! It's just..." Alex was so well spoken, it was rather odd for him to shudder and tremble his words out. "You know what? Nevermind." He went back to his notebook, scribbling nonsense.

"Tell me more about the people who are here! I haven't been here in a month..."

"Well... There's 'The Poly Pair'. Marques De Lafayette and Hercules Mulligan."

"Oh wow, that's uh..." John scratched the back of his neck. "Thats a pretty gay name, man."

Alex laughed and it bounced all over the grey walls. His laugh vibrated John's chest. "I know, right?! Like, they're so 'manly' for a baguette and fashion designer."

The other Hamilton came back, with a glass of water and put in front of Alex on the wooden table his note was on and that separated John and Alex. "Drink." He said. Alex shook his head

"Drink, Alex. Now." Alex rolled his eyes and took a sip. John looked at him with a tilted head and worried eyes.

"Why won't you drink water?" John asked, with the innocence of a child. Alex looked at his hands and went silent. His cousin looked at him and sighed.

"He survived a hurricane, and almost drowned. He cant stand water in his mouth." His cousin explained.

"I have an IV, so I won't die..." Alex exposed his arm that had an IV needle in his wrist. John nodded and went back to drawing. The tv was turned on. It was just the right amount of noise. The cousins chatted, a bit much, but that's okay. Then the loud A/C turned on. A bit debilitating. John was having trouble seeing right.

Then a noisy girl came in, shouting excitedly. The pencils moving, the tv, the talking, the A/C, the shouting. John started to shake, and his breathing quickened. Their voices became disorganized and fuzzy. His throat closed and he saw spots. Without warning, he shot up and ran out. He left to the cabin area, where the beds are and he plopped down on the bed he always claimed. He rocked and listened to the silence. He searches around for something sharp, anything. he found a plastic, mechanical pencil. He snapped the plastic casing and took it.

He tied red ribbons on his already marked up arm. Then as he was starting to draw blood someone came in. John ducked under the bed, still stroking himself.

"John?" The smooth voice called- it was Alex. John stayed in place, although he would be easily spotted. He still continued wrapping a red ribbon on his arm. Alex found him after a few moments of searching, as predicted, and took away the pencil shards.

"Stop this. This is no good. " Alex said, gesturing to John's arm, kneeling down to face John.

"But I need to stim!" John protested.

"Stim?" Alex said, their faces close.

"Re-repetitive actions..." John made and held panicked eye contact.

Alex made their foreheads touch, and their noses. "I know some repetitive actions you could do..." Alex winked.


	3. Chapter 3

John's face turned red, he was concerned as to what Alex meant by 'repetitive actions'.

"Come on," Alex got up and held his hand out to John who hesitantly took it. Alex lead him out of the bedroom, passed the girl's room, passed the living areas, passed the kitchen, passed even the offices to a small, white door held closed by a hook-and-eye latch.

"Ready?" Alex unlatched the door. John nodded and climbed into the ventilation system after him. Soon an unnecessary vent was open, which the boys slipped through to the building's foundations. There was a nice bookshelf, filled the brim with old and new books alike beside a blue bean bag chair with a rainbow blanket draped over it. A little, black table with a stack of three books sat between the shelf and chair. Alex plopped down, wrapping the blanket around himself, and picking up the top book on the stack.

"Go on, spin around, flap your hands, do what you need to," Alex said, starting to read. John looked at him, startled he knew what John meant by 'repetitive actions'

"Ah-how? How did you know?"

"My brother, James, had Autism as well. He did the same thing you do."

"The same thing...?"

"The cutting," Alex responded flatly. "He did that too." John nodded, before humming and slowly spinning around.

"John?"

"Hm?"

"Aren't you dizzy?"

"Yes!" John giggled as he stopped and stumbled in front of Alex. He ended up falling and being caught in Alex's lap. He was basically lazily sitting on his lap.

John giggled even more "But I like the feeling of being dizzy!"

Alex laughed as he lifted the light, dizzy boy up, so he was sitting right. Their faces close, noses touching.

"Alex…?" John held a surprisingly comfy eye contact with him. Alex's eyes flutter closed as he closed the distance that seemed like valleys away.

Their hearts exploded as John melted into the kiss. He kissed girls before, but it never felt like this… Their lips moved, synchronized. Alex's hands moved around under his shirt and traced lines between the freckles. John took off his shirt, as did Alex.

"Al-Alex? Is… Is this what you want me to do…?"

"Only if you want to, don't give a rat's ass what I want."

"I… Alex… I, I want you _so badly_."

"Then let's go…"

"One thing first?"

"Yes, baby?"

"You have to drink water."

"Fine."

John slammed their lips together. Thank God they were alone.

After hours of staying there they climbed out, mainly for food. A big group of kids at at a brown table, Hamilton, to big guys, two tan girls, and very skinny pale girl.

"Hey guys! This is John." Alex annouced they nodded.

"Bonjour, mon ami!" One of big guys said, holding out his hand. John stared at it, not knowing what to do. The frenchmen cleared his throat, "I'm Marquis De Lafayette. Call me Laf."

The other big guy next to him spoke up "I'm Hercules Mulligan. Call me Herc or Mully."

"So you're the 'Ploy Pair'?" John asked.

"Oui."

"I'm Angelica, and these are my sisters, Peggy and Eliza." A tan girl said, she worea pink crop top, shorts and had dark, fluffy hair. Peggy looked like her, but bigger fluff of hair and wore a yellow sundress. Eliza wore a baby blue, poofy dress that blended with her skinny, pale body.

Peggy smiled bright and waved, Eliza smiled weakly. They all ate, except Eliza, who picked at her food, not taking a bite despite the adult's nagging.

Once everyone but her finished she was held back when every was free to go to get ready for bed. She screamed and fought them as they tried to force her to eat. They evenually gave up, and settled on taking her in to be tubed tomorrow.

John sat on his bed, in nothing but his tee shirt as Alex scribbled something down in his notebook. John loudly yawned and flopped on the bed. He relaxed his body, the smell of a cheap air freshener biting and offending his nose.

 **Crash!**

Both boys jumped at the sound as a bright light flashed through the window. John calmed down fast, but Alex stayed tense.

"Alex, are you-"

 **Crash!**

Soon drops of water hit the window, Alex froze still.

"Alex?" John touched him. Alex flinched and then held John tightly.

"No no no no… I won't let you die… Stay here… I'll save you.. I promise…" Alex craddled a very confused John. He tried to free himself, but it was no use.

"Alex? Can we lay down?"" John spoke softly, not knowing what else to do. Alex nodded and layed them both down.

Alex sobbed and cried until he was asleep, John still in his arms. John held his head close to Alex's chest, the rythmn of his heartbeat and breath lulling him to sleep.


End file.
